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This week’s been a hectic bastard, bayoneting busy bodies, both brave and boisterous, frolicking to and fro at gigs in cloisters!

But seriously; can’t you just feel it in the air? Some good things is happening, oh aye! Looks like, with any luck, the FVKRUSADE will be stepping up a notch – sailing into more tumultuous waters, hitting them big-big highways like a buccaneer and knightrider combined!

We’ve got shit to do Mother F**KER! (that’s one of kier’s classic quotes – he says it in a very humorous fashion.)

But seriously, (again) we’re so excited with everything that’s been going on - I bought a load of quorn from the super market last night and somehow saved NINE POUNDS!!!

BUT SERIOUSLY! FOR THE LAST F**KING TIME! Ok, ok. So here we are. Heh heh, heh, heh heh, I wonder who got the powerpack? Heh heh, heh heh heh… NEWS!

And the news is as follows!

1. We have a new album coming out in mid spring called… buy Kerrang! or squint at the jpeg at the bottom of this blog to find out!
2. We’re shooting a video very soon (which will come out very soon after that) for our next single called ******* ******* ********************.
3. We’re doing something that’s pretty outlandish and crazy. Essentially we’ve built this organization – an FVK empire. At the moment we want to do everything our own way, and as you probably know, most of what we do is done by us. Whether it’s posters, merch, videos etc. That’s why we’re always going on about how busy we are and why we have to begrudgingly let so many people down by saying we have important shizz on. Well anyway, we’ve taken DIY (a term that pisses me off a bit to be frank) and ran with it. I would give you the name of the organisation, but I want to be all shadowy, like MI6 or someshit, but… The record label division. Yes we’ve been silly and made our own record label. Well the name of that is in the Kerrang article also. But where? Tweet me with the answer and… And the first person to do so will get named as Sherlock Holmes in my next blog. E.g: Emma Sherman is SHERLOCK HOLMES FOR THE DAY! Well done! lol. Joking aside. How cool is this!? We own… Ourselves. Ain’t that a turn up for the books?
4. We’re in Kerrang! Which is once again absolutely crazetacular and all our families and friends are proud. And once again it’s you chaps and chapettes helped get us there so Bravo! Here’s the scan. Squint to your hearts delight! And find that name!

So… Here we stand, like it says in Bleed Till Sunrise at the edge of our world… Everything’s starting to come to together. We’re finally getting amps that won’t blow up every other show and a van that’s not 40 % rust (don’t worry, subo is forever in our hearts), and though we’re absolutely skint (broke), we’re ready to do everything we need to do to get where we need to go. And we promise, we’re going to do y’all proud.

Until my next letter, or never…

Laurence
xxxx
;;

P.S

So come come cardinal,
You know where we’re waiting,
We’re game if you’re playing…

Alright loves!

Totally sorry i’m so rubbish on the blog side of things. The last time I attempted to do a blog was back at Halloween, it turned out I was snowed under sorting our London show that month so I ended up making Drew do it… Was a corker though! He pretended to be me

I promise though, I have loads of things up my little sleeves that will surface in the next few months. Some interesting, some less interesting but still important. None the less all will happen!

I won’t bother updating you too much as I’m sure Sir Laurence and Woolsen have sorted you right out. So instead maybe i’ll focus on something else… but what to talk about. I KNOW!

I know I posted about it on Facebook but here’s a close up. My neck is actually still sore from this bad boy:

It’s no too easy to see in this picture (try taking a picture of your own neck it’s hard!!) but I assure you it’s a bat. Not any old bat though. It’s an origamy bat

It was designed by a lovely chap called Jake for Fearless Vampire Killers. Jake is one of Luke’s best friends. We actually have the origional framed at home! You can check out some of his work here: http://jakextattoo.co.uk/ 

Other than getting tattoo’s i’ve been building vans, booking shows, watching southpark and and preparing the release of a certain album…hmmmm. Oh and eating loads of wraps! Tortilla wraps are such a versatile food. Basically put anything in them, wrap it up, and eat it in a convenient package. I’m going to have one tonight in fact (I had to have a week off them you see).

All my love until next time.

Kier

xxxx <3 <3

P.S here’s an extract from an MR James novel. Maybe it’ll make sense in coming months.

“From time to time strange cries as of lost and despairing wanderers sounded from across the mere. They might be the notes of owls or water-birds, yet they did not quite resemble either sound. Were not they coming nearer? Now they sounded from the nearer side of the water, and in a few moments they seemed to be floating about among the shrubberies. Then they ceased; but just as Stephen was thinking of shutting the window and resuming his reading of Robinson Crusoe , he caught sight of two figures standing on the gravelled terrace that ran along the garden side of the Hall—the figures of a boy and girl, as it seemed; they stood side by side, looking up at the windows. Something in the form of the girl recalled irresistibly his dream of the figure in the bath. The boy inspired him with more acute fear.”

Words, words, words, oh my, all I see is words! Emails shooting back and forth like fluttering pigeons carrying command inscribed parchments over a snow quilted battlefield. Soon the fight begins, but at the moment the ranks are nervous, the horses kicking up clods of snow with their restless hooves while the lord knights – those that will stay behind and watch the battle from afar – discus tactics over flagons of thick, hot spiced wine.

Okay, theatrical widgery aside, since nine o’clock, the five of us have sent maybe forty emails to one another with at least four topics are under discussion. All the while I’m trying to do my day job while simultainiously putting to paper the events in Grandomina the album ************ describes. It’s pretty fracking hectic, I tell ye!

But we’re having some crazy ideas, and talking about records five, six years down the line. But we’re also talking about things that are pretty gargantuan. If we plant the seeds now, who knows what they’ll blossom into?

The album should be out in spring, though we all know how things can be delayed! But let’s touch wood – no boys, not that wood! – and pray that the gods of rock don’t throw too many obstacles in the path of this thing.

Meanwhile, your artwork kicks ass big time. At the moment we have a wall full of the stuff but we could always use more so if you bring to shows we’ll stick it on our wall. I’ll even trade you a badge for it. Or maybe more, but I don’t know if I’m allowed. Anyways, this kicks ass!

Until my next letter, or never…

Laurence, 

;;

Wout ye beleef ut boy?

Oi bruk m’ promas!

We’ve been back home this past week or so, mingling with our friends that reside in the valley between Norfolk and Suffolk, wiling away our hours bolstering the hay bales and drinking ale from questionably clean earthenware tankards in the taverns edging the marshlands. so let me apologise for any lapses into the dialogue of the old Anglian folk that might occur in this blog. Being there for more than a few days I begin to find my self dropping my Os and replacing them with Us, ending almost every sentence with boy! Like I’m back hum again.“haf ye got them guitaar strungs, have ye boy?” and other quaint sentences of the like.

Anyway halliday, when I said I broke my promise I wasn’t joking. I assured all that I would blog before new year and, curse my blackened soul, I didn’t! And I feel so bad about it! It’s just – with all the work on Opti-miss-prime and listening to the album on repeat while munching nut roast and drinking this weird herb liquor my Nan brought up when she came to stay, blogging was – I’m quite ashamed to admit – rather distant from my thoughts.

Sooo. I thought I better make up for it and get y’all up to speed on the what’s been going down in the fvk multiverse. And lets just say. Shi’ ha’ been goan down mah-fah!

We have our first album recorded and mixed. It sounds sooo good! I know I’m biased, but it’s going to be nice to hand someone this shiny little disk, and know that we’re completely happy with how it turned out. And that’s never happened before, there’s always been something we weren’t completely happy with.

Next, we had our first band practice for a couple of weeks yesterday. Played the album through and it sounded good. Realized we need a bucket load of work to get as good as we sound on record again, but we’re up for it. We’ve a ton of rehearsals booked and we’ve ordered new amps and shizz (which we deffo can’t afford, lol). At the moment the last thing we want is sound fake – no samples or anything - so we’re going to strain every vocal muscle and chord to make sure we can re-create the crazy harmonies we slapped down in the studio. Afterwards we watched Jumanji. While getting fat on treats from our german friend.

Oh yeah *trying to sound nonchalant* another pretty awesome thing happened yesterday, and that was Paul Harries - arguably the best band photographer ON EARTH!!! – chose us as one of his three favourite introducing pictures of 2011. Didn’t think this time last year that in twelve months time, we’d be in this spot! Here it is. : )

At the moment we’re running test shots and other shizzazzle for our next video, which we’re making really soon. We’ll be doing it ourselves again, which is definitely a double edged sword. On the one side, you don’t answer to anyone and you can make it as outlandish and over-the-top as you like, but on the other, you have to spend looooads of money, location scout it, cast it, direct it, and edit it yourselves. Luckily all that’s a hell of a load of fun, though sometimes super fukka stressful!

Let’s just say Fetish For The Finite will look to our new video, what Dungeons & Dragons (the motion picture, not the game) did to Lord of the Rings!

We hope…

So thanks for reading despite my breaking of my promise! From now on I’ll be back to my blogging like Take That came back to the charts after their “issues”. Let’s just hope I don’t grow a beard and start blogging about stuff that attracts mums and Q magazine, eh? ; )

Until my next letter, or never…

Laurence

;;

P.s. Before I get into to trouble. I actually quite like Take That, I’m just having a little jest in I boy!

P.P.S.

Dale Cooper: [Lucy pours Cooper a cup of coffee. He takes a sip and promptly spits it out]
Dale Cooper: Damn fine coffee! And hot!

Is that? Could it be!? Do mine eyes sniff the quaint clamour of sleigh-bells jingling in the snowy winter air!!!?

“Yes, yes they do!” Say’s a thick voice – like the clicks and spits of a warm open fire – from behind me.

Do I turn? Could it true be he,
the man I was told was just a myth,
the paragon of festivity?
Santa Claus the prince of glee!

I turn, tentatively at  first – but now I can smell the roasted chestnuts on his breath, the pine sap on his gloves, I feel the warmth emanating from him!

But when I turn, oh goodness how wrong i’d been! It’s a giant flabby Vampire in a dirty bobble hat, with twisted claws and a lolling tongue.

I kick him hard and make a note,
That it wasn’t chestnuts in his throat,
Nay, what he had been feasting on,
Was my friend Drew’s voluptuous bum!
And on his gloves no sap of pine,
But thick dark blood like christmas wine,
And as I take in hand my gun,
He scrambles forth and starts to run,
And I see the bells were not reindeer,
They were headless corpses chained to his rear,
So with every step that brute did take,
Those shackles rattled like a sleigh,
But the kind of guy I am you see,
Is one that one should not deceive,
So I filled that sucker full of lead,
And took his bloody corpse to bed.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Aroyoru!

Any hoo mchoo on the roo at  half past three. It’s time to be serious, so lets start this section with.

BESTWEEKEVERPRAYFUKKA!!!!

Yes Sirs and Gentlegirls, it’s all happening, literally a glittery week of dreams come true.

“WHY?” you cry, well maybe you don’t cry, but you ask aggressively.

I’ll tell you for why my buttery friends. Number one it’s Christmas. We’ve been getting gifts, scrapbooks that make us cry, buying gifts for other people, watching Christmas films, drinking way too much mulled wine, etc…

Number two, Kier missioned it to Stoke or someshit to pick up our new van – Subo’s bigger daughter Opti-miss-prime. She’s massive, has room to sleep six and carry all the gear, and may even have a working tape player!!!!

Number three, I don’t  know if any of you have seen this, but Kapow! 

First, i’ve just got to say without you guys (you know who you all are) this ^ would never have happened, you made everyone go “how the hell did this band come out of nowhere with no record deal, money, famous friends or coverage. The answer is we had REAL people - not just figures - who gave a shit  so CHARRS XXXXXXX + Katie P and Paul Harries being massive legends!!

You know it’s difficult to describe the feeling of opening up your favourite  magazine and seeing a picture of your band staring back at you when you turn the page. I remember seeing some of my favourite bands in there growing up; We Are Scientists, A  Day To Remember more  recently, even The Rasmus who were massive when we were kids! It was always such a big deal checking it out, seeing whether you could beat your mates and discover a new  band first.  Being in there - it’s one of those moments where you go, “ok we must finally be doing something right!” but of course that doesn’t mean we can  get content!!! It’s only the first step on a fuck-off massive staircase, but it is a start. THANKYOU ALL FOR HELPING US GET THERE!!!!!!! But remember, still a long way to go

Four: On thursday, that’s tomorrow!, we get our album which is like woooooooo. Kapow. Fantasmagasmic. I can’t wait to sit there, stuffing my face with mince pies, repeatedly re-reading the kerrang article and listening to the album – probably crying silky tears of joy… Ok i’m not that sad, but this is setting up to be one of  the best weeks of our lives! And I promise you, it’s going to be the best thing since… Definately since the last WHAM! album. We got At War With The Thirst on monday and OMG the those boys at outhouse have made us sound somethin’ special, praise fukka!

Tonight, those of  us that can fit it in are, fingers crossed, going to hazard our way through the other “best christmas film ever” —— Scrooged!!

[Elliot (above) points a shotgun right in Frank's face]
Elliot: Hello, wabbit!
Frank Cross: Could you give me a head start?
Elliot: Sure. One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three!
[he fires]

[Props man tries to attach antlers to a mouse]
Props man: I can’t get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don’t work.
Frank Cross (Scrooge): Did you try staples?

while simultaneously wrapping presents, dyeing hair, and meeting friends. Exciting times mah-fah!

So  enjoy your Christmas, I’ll speak to you before new year!! And make sure you buy Kerrang and tell them how much you love the picture. Maybe they’ll let us take some more — WITH REAL SWORDS!!!!!!
Until my next letter, or never…
Laurence

;;

Hark my dear ladies and gentlefolk, do you feel something rather splendiferous coming? Something immensiful, magtabnible and ruddybluddyfantasmagorical?! That change in the air that seems to chill you to the bone whilst simultaneously roasting the cockles of your heart. It’s that special time of year again when you fly over from New York to LA to see your estranged wife at her work Christmas party only for the building to be ransacked by Alan Rickman and his gang of Gruber goons, your wife and all of her colleagues kidnapped and you stuck right in the middle trying to take them all on one at a time – talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time…Oh wait, that’s Die Hard again isn’t it? DAMN! I guess that means it’s just regular boring old….CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes it’s taken us a little bit longer to really get into the festive spirit on this site (although don’t mention that word around Barrone or he’ll bite your face off!) because as you know, and I’m sure you’re all very tired of us using this excuse but come on we’ve gotta try and hype ourselves up somehow GEEZ-STEPHANEEZE, we’ve been busy in the studio – unfortunately not recording an album of Xmas choons L – but recording our first LP which we’re all very excited about and though it won’t be out for a while (see L’s Bells blog below) I’m sure we’ll be giving you a few sneaky hints along the way so keep your noses to the grindstone and follow your pancreas buckaroo.

< I just have to apologise for the terrible punctuation of that sentence/paragraph – what a bloody mess. My English lit teacher would have had my balls skewered on a bicycle for that>

<I would like to again apologise as my English Lit teachers were actually all pretty nice but it’s more fun to perpetuate the sadistic schoolteacher stereotype for the purposes of this blog>

<But I digress>

<Poobeans>

For me it was Sunday that the spirit of Christmas really etched itself into my consciousness. We’ve had our flat decked out in Christmas gear for a few weeks (expect some Christmassy pics of us larking about soon I’d imagine – hopefully Kier will be fully clothed in them but I can’t promise anything peoploids) and we went Xmas shopping on Sunday and everytime I’ve been to a coffee shop I’ve had some stupidly overpriced variation on the normal Latte just because it’s ‘Festive’ (my favourites are Costa’s gingerbread latte’s – SCORE!) but it wasn’t until we stuck on ‘A Muppet’s Christmas Carol’ yesterday afternoon that it all really hit me. I did a blog about the film last year as it is hands down my favourite purely-christmassy (and muppety) film but I thought I’d bring it up again because it really encompasses all that Christmas is to me now in one film.

Now we started the day watching Disney’s Hercules (amazing by the way – deserves a blog of it’s own really) so we were already in ‘a trip down memory lane’ territory and nostalgia was engulfing me as though it was the sphincter of a plump Christmas goose and I was but a small dollop of sage and onion stuffing. Then we wapped on Muppets Christmas Carol and that was it man I was gone, it was like I’d travelled back some 15 or so years to when I was still young, innocent and even more of a weiner. It brought all the memories back of getting excited about the possibility of Old Saint Nick coming in through the window (we don’t have a chimney so unless he brought his own he’d have to be going the burglar route wearing sausages on his fingers and a beef burger on each palm) and dropping off some boxes of Christmas cheer that me and my family would open together before making sure that we spent the whole day together celebrating, playing games and being merry. You can’t help but be pricked with the knife-point of Xmas cheer when you watch this movie!

The beauty of it, like all great family films, is that it has something for everyone. When I was younger maybe I enjoyed more the Rizzo/Gonzo slapstick banter (which I still love by the way, don’t want anyone thinking I’m hating on Gonzo – my favourite of all muppetry delights) but now I can appreciate the brilliance of the design (the fact that if you just saw the scene of Scrooge checking his bedchamber for assailants you could easily mistake it for some gothic period piece and not suddenly have cuddly muppets jumping around) and the fact that some of the creatures are genuinely disturbing – not just the obvious Ghost of Christmas future (a fantastic reaper, chilling and stylised as it looms over Michael Caine’s ever more cowardly and repentant Scrooge) but the Elfin/childlike Ghost of Christmas Past where you can really tell that this is the same crew behind Labyrinth and Dark Crystal. Plus you’ve gotta love a rat making a pun about ASSets – doesn’t get any sexier than that .

Then there’s that tragic element that is so much a part of Christmas – even if it’s not used to sell Coca Cola – which I guess was probably bestowed upon the festive season by Dickens himself with the release of his original story. The melancholy of Christmas becomes more obvious with every passing year, when I was a little ‘un it seemed like things would never change, friends and family would always be united and nothing cemented that more than Christmas – a time of togetherness and celebration with those you love. But the passage of time has a way of changing things, important people in your life come and go, you leave home and start a life of your own and that traditional image of Christmas slips further and further away and even though it’s still a highlight of the year – some of the innocence and wonder slips away. Maybe it’s just my slightly morbid outlook on life but I kind of like finding the sorrow behind something supposedly so wondrous, it resonates even more profoundly than just trying to pretend that everything in the world is perfect and sugary sweet. I mean listen to Prince’s ‘Another Lonely Christmas’ it’s haunting, mournful and yet – as Nobby himself might say – IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAS!!! through and through (and check that song out by the way – you won’t find it on an Xmas playlist but it’s fantasmical). Even Wham’s classic Karaoke hit ‘Last Christmas’, which is on every single bloody Now Christmas ’97 style compilation CD, is all about heartbreak sister – and that’s the gospel truth (seriously, Hercules is the shiz yo).

It’s something that the MCC (finally decided on an abbreviation to save me some serious word count Holmes…except this explanation has taken up more of my time, more of my words, and more of my mana….DAMN!) perfectly. I think a lot of the reason it hits home and  makes me well up like an oily (oily?!) sponge more than most films (for other films that get Wooly weepy see Moulin Rouge, The Dark Knight – yes that’s right Ma fukka, The Dark knight, sue me it’s just to awesome to remain bone-dry - among many others – yes I know, i am a weiner) is that you’ve got a classic story laced with heavy, literary themes – death, bitterness, disillusionment– in a gothic, sometimes supernatural setting…with a cast of colourful, childish characters that aren’t quite mops and aren’t quite puppets but man!…and so on. It’s that clash of innocence and cynicism that makes MCC a classic family film like all the greats before and after (see the last 20minutes of Toy Story 3 and if you don’t start at least welling up you must be a fracking Sith Lord!). But before you think MCC is some Uber-gloom fest that Wooly’s been watching – HOLD YOUR HORSETTE SUNSHINE! because the icing on the cake is that the Christmas carol tale is all about a man – cruel, embittered and lonely – accepting that life, you know, ain’t exactly all rosy and delicious but just adding to misery will never get you even and will never leave you happy and maybe, just maybe, you can do something about it, you don’t have to settle for the cards you’ve been dealt, you can be something more – all you have to do is try. It’s cliché and romantic and blah blah blah but hey ho Johnny Snow it’s Christmas – anything can happen, we’ve just got to not sit on our bums and go out there and grab that shiny roast carrot!

God another long one, if you made it through that and it made even a tiny bit of sense I thank and commend you, now let’s get this Christmas party started – as the Muppety Ghost of Christmas Present would sing with joy in his heart:

It is the season of the heart
A special time of caring
The ways of love made clear
It is the season of the spirit
The message if we hear it
Is make it last all year

… but hey, I haven’t even seen It’s a Wonderful Life before so what the hell do I know?!

MERRY XMAS YOU WONDERFUL FOLKSTERS!xxxxxxxxxxx

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!

That’s right, from that collection of exclamatory words, darn nab it, I bit you kin gather – yes that’s right, all of your zillions of dreams have come true – FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS HAVE FINISHED RECORDING THEIR DEBUT ALBUM!

But whoa there – that’s English for stop a horse – times have changed and the days when the Beatles could record their debut Please Please Me in nine hours and forty-five minutes are long gone. Now, we take a month to record, and about a week to mix, which is still pretty sweet going considering in the 80s Def Leppard took four years to record Hysteria. Fair enough their drummer did lose an arm…

Anyways, the album has it’s name, which of course in typical FVK fashion, we won’t be revealing until the last minute, and it also has it’s songs. All it needs now is to be mixed and then kabam! There’ll be another four months before it’s released!

Oh… That’s not good is it? “That’s ages!” I hear you all yelling. I know, I did the same. I stormed FVKatchQ/FVK Towers like the mythical Scary Beveridge, demanding an earlier release date. “Fuck release schedules!” I cried, “Fuck the norm!” I even duelled our manager to the death, though when we realized that a couple of wooden swords and two nerf guns weren’t going to do much damage, we sat down, had a tin of directors [;)] and he explained to me why it made sense. I finally relented, agreeing it had it’s merits and gave him my lordly blessing.

But don’t fret! Loads of exciting – like really exciting – stuff will be happening in the lead up to the release, so never fear, bombardiers. A dose of succulent FVK strawberry milk will soon be on your lips.

Also, keep your ear to the ground next week. Something awesome might just happen.

Until my next letter, or never…

Laurence

;;

He can feel the fire behind him, the heat that only seven hundred years of smouldering sin can discharge…

“Oooh what’s that?” we all ask inquisitively.

“Not telling” says the cold backlit text.

Anysways, enough of that mysterious nonsense, right now i’m eating raw cocoa beans and my are they bitter! But they are tasty and they make you go all fuzzy and electrisized! (another classic composition of mine)Yum yum!

So I’ve finished all my vocals! Which is awesome because I was worried I’d get in there, loose my nerve and ruin the whole session. Thankfully, those bearded gods of rock gave me a really nice galleon and calm, calm waters; i sailed through those sessions like the reincarnated flying dutchman – and i’m not talking the POTC version, which although very cool is not as ghostly as what I require to use as a metaphor for my completing my vocals without a hitch this past week *deep breath!*

So yeah the studio was great, and I’ve got to thank Ben Humphreys and James Billinge for giving me the confidence to go through it all without having a hissy fit a declaring that I’m crap at everything and should just go into the garden and quietly wait for the cold to finish me off. It really was the best experience I’ve had in a studio EVER! Plus the songs are sounding INSANE in the best way! There’re even two songs no one out of the band has EVER heard! WOWOWOWOW!

Also yesterday I literally had the most momentous conversation of my life so far, I felt like a ten year old boy at the top of the mega slide at the local swimming pool about to leap into a warm chlorine descent! Some people might say it wasn’t a big deal, but it is to me. More on that. SOON!

Anyway, now i’m on a Cocoa bean high, I better get back to work on the… Oh probs better not tell you that either,

Well anyway, that was a blog of nothingness, so here’s something wierd.

It is better to destroy than to create what is meaningless,
So the picture will not be finished…

P.S went and saw Everytime I Die on wed, twas a hoot! Also reminded me of what they said when they released the Big Dirty.

Unless you’re a sorority girl, you’re probably not accustomed to dudes telling you that something called “the big dirty” is about to invade your personal space. Well we here at Every Time I Die are doing just that, so open your holes wide. Your EAR holes. This August, Ferret Music will release what can only be described as “Every Time I Die’s newest album” known as “The Big Dirty”. Chock-a-block with riffs that only 4 months of a Buffalo, New York winter could spawn, this new record will undoubtedly satisfy those that have followed the band since their first full length release “Last Night In Town” all the way through “Gutter Phenomenon”. And if you were one of the 38 confused men who strayed somewhere along that interim, we welcome you back with open arms. You want ironically distasteful rock and roll pretenses? You got em. You want riffs so filthy they should have a moustache and wear elastic work out pants when they go out to eat at the Olive Garden? Right here, boys. You want mosh parts so brutal it could star opposite Charles Bronson in ANY of the Death Wish movies? Come get some. Produced by Steve Evetts, The Big Dirty is the CD you would compile if asked to make a mix of the BEST Every Time I Die songs you haven’t heard yet. Ten plus tracks that tore from our filthy hands like the creature that jumped out of that dudes stomach in Alien. If this ain’t your favorite heavy release of the year, I’ll eat my damn hat. Look for us on Sounds Of The Underground this summer with Chimaira and GWAR. And if you’re in Australia, firstly “G’day Mate!” and secondly get your ass ready for us and Norma Jean in early June. Who’s buyin?